


Teach Me To Feel

by RichardGraysonPercyJackson



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Emotional Constipation, Emotionally Repressed, Emotions, Family Issues, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 10:31:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21390694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichardGraysonPercyJackson/pseuds/RichardGraysonPercyJackson
Summary: Bruce reflects on how he changed after his parents' death and how, despite his best efforts to make it happen, Dick Grayson did not.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	Teach Me To Feel

When you lose your parents at such a young age, as Bruce did, it changes you.

At least, that was Bruce’s justification for locking away his emotions. For never smiling unless it was for a gala. For faking everything until, eventually, he no longer felt anything.

His excuse fell apart soon after taking in young Richard Grayson. He saw himself in the boy and couldn’t bear to let the child suffer alone. If this bright and excitable child was about to become just as cold and emotionless as Bruce, then the  _ least _ he could do was give the boy somewhere safe to do it.

The boy was sad and closed off for weeks, months. Cried through nightmares every single night and Bruce, the selfish bastard that he was could only think, ‘at least I won’t be alone’.

But Richard - Dick - proved him  _ wrong _ . It had been four months, he thought he was never going to see the boy give a genuine smile again.

At least, until he found the batcave.

“You’re Batman?” Dick whispered, gazing up at Bruce with awe in his blue eyes.

“Yes,” Bruce replied, expression blank.

“You’re going to find the man who killed my parents, right?”

“Yes, I am.”

Bruce was genuinely  _ shocked _ with the way Dick’s face lit up. “I want to help,” he declared, smiling. And it was a genuine smile. Not the fake ones he’d learned from Bruce for galas.

No, this was well and truly  _ genuine _ . A smile Bruce himself had not been able to recreate since he was twelve years old.

He didn’t know what to do with the emotion the boy was expressing so he said the only thing he could think of.

“No.”

Dick’s smile fell. Good. This was something Bruce could handle. “What? Why?”

“It’s too dangerous.” hmm. Good excuse.

“I don’t care.”

“You’re untrained.”

“I can do a quadruple flip!”

“That won’t help you avoid men with guns.”

Dick glowered at him. “Fine,” he spat before turning and storming off. Bruce let out a soft sigh fo relief when the boy vanished, a small spark glowing in his chest, sending guilt pooling through his veins.

The boy was  _ recovering _ and because of his own selfish inability to handle emotions, Bruce had crushed it. Shattered him.

Dick would be just like him now.

_ Good _ .

……………………………..

Apparently Bruce didn’t really know anything about this kid.

He’d found Tony Zucco after only six months which was impressive. The man was smart enough to find a way to kill an entire family with no proof except for one tiny little kid yet stupid enough to stay in the same shit-hole city he killed them in.

But smart enough to know how to snag Batman and trap him. 

“I know why you’re here, Batman,” the man said calmly, hands clasped behind his back as he stood before the vigilante hung upside down by his ankles. The mobster had a smile on his face and clearly he thought he’d won. “But there’s no proof that I killed the Graysons.”

“No proof except for a little boy’s word.”

“And who would believe him?”

“Me!”

Batman can only watch in what he’ll describe as tactical awareness as a child - dressed in the most god awful colors Bruce has ever seen - leaps from the rafters and throws himself at Zucco.

The man distracted, Batman is able to free himself and land on his feet just in time to watch Zucco fling the child across the room, the boy slamming into the wall so hard he collapses to the ground and doesn’t move again. A glance just long enough told Bruce the kid was breathing and would be fine.

“Didn’t know you had a little sidekick, Batman,” Zucco said, rage in his eyes as he turned back to Bruce. But he was a hair too slow and received a fist to the face, going down without even a fight.

Batman wasted no time in zip tying the man’s hands before turning towards the child.

But the boy was gone and if Zucco hadn’t commented, Batman might have assumed he’d imagined it.

Might have, if not for those garish colors.

…………………………….

The boy is Dick. Richard Grayson who’s too damn cheery for his and Bruce’s own goods. Bruce went back to the cave and wasn’t sure whether or yell or praise when he spotted Dick looking properly repremanded, dressed in those stupid colors though without the mask.

“That was irresponsible and reckless,” Bruce declared. Because it was, no matter the fact that Bruce might not have gotten out of this so unscathed if it hadn’t been for Dick’s appearance.

“I told you I wanted to help,” Dick declared, blue eyes blazing as he stood his ground.

“You could have gotten hurt! You  _ did _ get hurt!”

“But I’m not dead!” Dick shouted, throwing his arms out to the side. “And I wasn’t...I couldn’t…” the boy dropped his arms, entire body trembling as he whispered, “I couldn’t lose you to him too.”

Bruce didn’t know what to say to that. “We’ll talk about this later,” he decided dismissively. “Get undressed.”

Dick scowled. “You know I’m gonna keep helping.”

“No you won’t.”

“Yes,” Dick declared, crossing his arms over his chest. “I  _ am _ .”

“And if I take away the costume? The mask?”

“I’ll make my own,” Dick declared. “I’m gonna help you, Mr. Wayne, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Oh, Bruce hated how right the kid was. Well, at least  _ somewhat _ right. “There is,” he said. “I can teach you.”

Dick’s eyes lit up. “I can help?” he asked.

“You were going to be out there anyway, the least I can do is make sure you don’t immediately die,” Bruce replied. “I’ll let you help on one condition.”

“Which is?”

“You have to have a name for yourself.”

Dick beamed. “Robin.”

Six months later, Batman and Robin took to the skies.

……………………………………..

Over the months and years with Dick at his side as his partner, ward, and - dare he say - son, Bruce found himself  _ feeling  _ for the first time in years. Dick somehow managed to get him to give small, genuine smiles. Managed to coax long hidden emotions that Bruce didn’t even know he was capable of feeling.

And then Dick had nearly been killed by Two-Face. Then Bruce benched him.

Then the screaming began and too soon after, Dick fled.

And Bruce was alone, almost  _ drowning _ in these new, frustrating emotions that Dick had brought out before leaving, leaving Bruce to fend against them on his own.

For a long time, Bruce resented Dick for that. Until he found a scrawny red headed kid trying to jack the tires of the batmobile. The kid then attempted to beat  _ Batman _ with nothing but a tire iron and without much thought, Bruce took him home.

The kid’s name was Jason Todd and he fucking  _ hated _ Bruce. Bruce wasn’t even sure why but anger was an emotion he could deal with. Anger was not an emotion he’d tied to Dick Grayson.

For a good three months, as he trained Jason to become Robin, Bruce was finally able to put Dick out of his mind and just as he’d finished shoving the last of those stupid emotions back into the box where they belonged, Dick returned.

……………………

“What are you doing here?” Bruce demanded.

Dick raised an eyebrow but surprisingly, didn’t try to fight, instead flashing Bruce a smile.

“I heard you took in a new kid and gave him my name.” there was a darkness in his eyes, but only for a moment, before he brightened again. “I came to meet him.”

Bruce narrowed his eyes but the likelihood of Dick being able to corrupt Jason into emotion the same way he’d corrupted Bruce was low so with a reluctant nod, the billionaire opened the door and stepped aside, letting his eldest in.

“And...Bruce?” Dick asked.

“Hm.”

“I’m sorry.”

Bruce didn’t have a reply so he didn’t say anything, instead giving Dick Jason’s location and walking away.

………………………………………….

Dick didn’t corrupt Jason but that was probably because Jason died before he ever could. When Dick found out about two weeks after the funeral, Bruce had hope in his heart that maybe  _ this _ would be what broke that stupid spirit.

The arrival of Tim Drake and subsequent frequency of Dick’s visits after which proved him wrong. And what was  _ worse _ was Dick corrupted Tim. Maybe not to the extent that he’d corrupted Bruce, tricked him into emotions, but it still worked.

Tim smiled and laughed and was  _ happy _ (thankfully not around Bruce) and the billionaire almost couldn’t handle it.

It was the only reason he was happy to meet his apparent son, Damian Al Ghul, because it didn’t seem to matter what Dick did or said because Damian had no interest whatsoever in dealing with Dick or his emotions.

And then...he’d died. Well, not really. It wasn’t entirely clear what happened but it seemed Dick’s power of emotion was a lot stronger than he’d anticipated.

When he returned, not only had his son managed to keep Gotham and Wayne Enterprises running, handling Batman  _ and _ Nightwing, but he’d also “tamed” Damian out of his homicidal urges, gotten Tim to finally branch out and do his own thing  _ and _ somehow gotten Jason to rejoin the family.

They were all happy,  _ elated _ when Bruce returned and the sheer amount of emotions he encountered was almost too much.

Almost.

“Dick, can we talk?”

“Sure Bruce,” Dick replied cheerfully, following the billionaire into his office. “Is everything okay?”

“I want to admit something to you.”

“Alright.”

“When I took you in, I did it for selfish reasons.” Bruce didn’t look at Dick, instead focusing on a point over the acrobat’s shoulder as he spoke. “I thought you would crumble like I did after my parents. You’d become emotionless like me.”

“But?” Dick asked tentatively when Bruce didn’t go on.

“But you didn’t,” Bruce continued. “You kept your happiness, cheerfulness. You never once shut down, not like I did.” he finally looked at Dick. “And somewhere in there, somewhere along the way, you taught me to feel emotions I hadn’t felt in years.”

Dick frowned. “Bruce-”

“When I took Jason in, I thought for sure he’d stay just as emotionless as me. But you got through to him. You got through to him and Tim and Damian and you  _ changed _ them.” his expression softened. “You changed me.”

The office was silent for a long time, Dick clearly unsure of what Bruce was trying to say while Bruce struggled to shove past the barrier between himself and emotions that he’d erected so many years earlier.

“What I’m trying to say,” he said slowly, hoping to choose the right words. “Is thank you.”

“For what?”

“For teaching me to feel again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
